In the big hole which is Life, it’s being dark for me and I keep seeing a weak light far away ..
I was supposed to reach that light long time ago , but each time something kept me in the dark.
I wouldn’t mind staying in the dark , I was lucky to be born with that kind of personality that doen’t make any difference between dark and light, but seeing my people who love hurt to see me like this makes me feel how the dark is cruel. Seeing them happy and fearless would makeme feel secure. I do know that this situation might change someday , and it was supposed to be over time ago but it’s starting to take longer than needed.. Somehow, i’m happy about it , because i know that when all of this will be gone, all what I will keep from it would be being stronger than before.
But something is missing…
I’m trying to live this experience without losing hope or depressing, I do my best to consider it a helpful experience instead of a big period of misery and sadness. I always thought that people can be happy if they really wanted to , it doesn’t depend on events that keep happening in their life but it only depends on how they take them.
However, optimisme can have limits.. I found a way to live almost hapily with these conditions, but to keep holding on , I need a conviction which would make me go on until infinity. But this conviction doesn’t exist at the moment. So, all what I will be able to do is wait and wait and try to ignore bad possibilities that i know could happen to me.
Living in hope to see the light someday !!!